What is the impact of self-talk, positive or negative?

If you ask me, there is no one-word answer to this question – is it good to talk to yourself? Self-talk is good or bad depending on your topic, way of thinking or what you are talking about in your mind and how much time you spend talking to yourself.

Self-talk is a widespread activity among every human being, which we perform consciously or unconsciously from our childhood as we learn words. The discussion takes place within our mind when we are thinking. As we self-introspect, we come across the question – Is it okay to talk to me?

How talking to yourself can be a good thing?

If we look at the positive side of self-talk, then

• Self-talk is equivalent to thinking silently within oneself. We need to retrospect our actions and take corrective actions as required. For this, thinking is critical. Self-talk allows us to look back and analyze our activities. Self-talk is good for our future course of decisions and actions.
•  It helps us to find our inner passion.
•  Positive self-talk is good as it motivates us to do something better. There are always some dull patches in our life, and with the help of positive self-talk, we can overcome them. A positive message from the inner voice helps us overcome any sort of depression

What is terrible about self-talk?

If we look at the negative side of self-talk, then we can see –

• Self-talk can have adverse effects if our inner voice speaks negatively and pushes us towards depression.
•  Spending too much time talking to the mind, even though favourable, can consume our time to act upon our thoughts.

How can I decide whether or when to allow self-talk?

As I said before, self-talk can be beneficial or harmful depending on your thoughts and how much time you spend on your thoughts. Even though you are talking to your mind, you must be aware of what you are talking about. You cannot just keep talking, being unaware of the topic and time duration.

Like face-to-face discussions or meetings with your friends or colleagues, you also need to be aware of your inner voice and words. Your thoughts are just a combination of words and images your mind creates. Both the communicating parties are on your mind, and there is a high chance of getting away from the course of discussion and also dragging it longer.

Sometimes your mind speaks about enjoyable topics, creating positive pictures and making you happy and cheerful. But the reverse is also true; any negative words from your inner voice create a situation of panic and fear and demotivate you. So the control of your thought should be with you and not your mind only.

How can I control my mind?

To control your self-talk, you must be aware of what you are thinking, whether it is suitable for you and have control of your mind. Allow only those thoughts which can help you move towards your goal.

Also, you should be able to control your mind to stop thinking after the allotted time, as you can only reach your goal once you act and not just by thinking. Thoughts and actions need to co-exist in balance.

If you want to travel from place A to place B, then checking the map and planning your travel is required, but only planning will not help you reach your destination. The act of travelling has to be performed to reach place B.

In Bhagawat Gita, Lord Shri Krishna said our body is like a horse chariot. Our sense organs are the horses of that chariot through which we feel, hear or see the external world. The charioteer is the person who drives the chariot. He is like our mind. We are the rider of the chariot. The rider must direct the charioteer (mind) where to take the chariot (body). If the rider does not direct properly, the charioteer can take the chariot anywhere as per his wish. So the control of our mind should be in the hands of our soul, which should take a proper unbiased decision.

How to stop self-talk?

As we discussed above, self-talk can be good or bad. So we cannot blindly say that we need to avoid self-talk. We should live in the present even while thinking and controlling our thoughts. If our thoughts are not helping us and rather demotivate us, then it does not matter whether you like to indulge in thinking; just get engaged in some activity and stop thinking about it.

If we have positive words coming up in our mind, which can help us go ahead, then think, but be aware of your time with your thoughts. Say, for example, you think of becoming the best surgeon in the world and visualize taking up many critical surgeries. This is a good thought, but will thinking alone help you become a surgeon? No, to become a surgeon, you need to study hard, get into an excellent medical college and practice to achieve your goal. So you must spend more time studying than just thinking about being a surgeon.

Your thought should motivate you. It is like charging your mobile battery to use it. Your motivation needs to drive your study; you must come back from your thoughts and work on your dream to make it a reality.

You can do four things to control your self-talk and stop it as and when needed.

• Be aware of your thoughts, and do not let it go on.
•  Have a dedicated time for your thoughts, and keep them from infiltrating anytime.
•  Have an end time and get back to your work. A daily routine is essential.
•  Network with positive-thinking people to ensure your thoughts are always positive. We get influenced by the people we talk to, which is very important to avoid negative thoughts.